July 5, 2006

Paradox

Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me…
–Depeche Mode “Shake the Disease”

Martin’s “Shake the Disease,” which was originally going to be named as “Understand Me”, is a sincere plea for love and understanding. It vividly reflets the agonizing frustration everyone more or less has experienced–misunderstood by others.

Many literary works I have studied examines the fundamental impossibility of interpersonal communication. For instance, the tragedy of “Antony and Cleopatra” results from their mistrust in one another and each interpreting the other’s intentions wrongly. Grotes’ play “Roberto Zucco” portrays a ruthless killer whose wish of trying to seek his personal freedom is imcomprehensible to others.

Even though complete understanding among people is nearly impossible, I am desperate to be understood by others. As Martin renders in “Somebody,” he wants “somebody to share/share the rest of my life/share my innermost thoughts/know my intimate details…” As for me, although it must be annoying, I envy Scarlett O’Hara, whom can be “read like a book” by Rhett Butler.

Nevertheless, inasmuch as I yearn for understanding and companionship, I need space. If I am immersed in the crowd for too long, I’d feel suffocated and try to stay away from people. Life in the dormitory makes me really dissatisfied since I am, more or less, watched by my three other classmates.

Henry Thoreau finds inspiration from nature, away from human beings, although he does not exclude them. He believes that the essence of our sould can only be opened when we are alone. I believe that his theory is quite true.

Therefore, I am at loss what I really want. Company or solitude? Maybe I wish for both, and it is a complete paradox.